Your child is visibly distressed — crying, shaking, hyperventilating, refusing to talk, or displaying signs of acute anxiety — after something that happened online. You may not yet know what the incident was.
When a child is in a state of panic or distress, the immediate priority is their emotional safety — not finding out what happened. Children cannot process information or answer questions effectively when they are overwhelmed. Your calm presence is the most powerful tool you have right now. The details can wait; your child's wellbeing cannot.
Be physically present. If your child is comfortable with touch, offer a hug or hold their hand. If not, sit near them quietly. Encourage slow breathing — breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4, out for 4. Model this yourself.
✗ Do not: Do not pepper them with questions while they are still in a panicked state.
Turn off or close the device that triggered the distress. Move to a quiet, comfortable space. Lower lights if possible. Remove other siblings or distractions temporarily.
Repeat calm, short phrases: 'You are safe. I am here. We will sort this out together. You are not in trouble.' Keep your voice low and steady.
Give your child time. A panic response typically peaks within 10-20 minutes and then gradually subsides. Do not rush this process. Offer water and sit together.
Once your child is calmer, ask open questions: 'Can you tell me a little about what happened?' or 'Would you like to show me what upset you?' Accept whatever they are willing to share, and follow up with the appropriate emergency guidance.
What not to do
Why this matters
If you need to report to authorities or a platform, evidence can help.
Childline
For children who want to talk to a trained counsellor about what happened
24/7, 365 days a year
Samaritans
If your child is expressing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, or if you are struggling as a parent
24/7, 365 days a year
NSPCC Helpline
For advice on how to support your child after a distressing online experience
24/7, 365 days a year
NHS 111
If your child is having a mental health crisis and you are unsure where to turn
24/7
Last reviewed: 2026-03-01