Message to a co-parent about online safety

Calm message to a co-parent or other parental figure to align on online safety rules between households.

When to use this templateUse when you want to align rules across two households — phones, screen time, apps, sleep, or response to an incident — without it turning into a wider dispute.

Tone guidance

Lower the stakes early. Use phrases like "not a big issue" and "roughly aligned".
Stick to one topic per message.
Acknowledge that the two homes do not have to be identical.
Avoid history, comparisons, or anything that sounds like criticism of the other home's setup.

Template

Hi [CO-PARENT NAME],

I wanted to flag something on online safety for [CHILD'S NAME] — not as a big issue, just so we're on the same page across both houses.

Topic: [TOPIC]

What I'd like us to try to agree:
[WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO AGREE]

Why I think it matters:
[WHY IT MATTERS]

I know we don't have to do everything exactly the same in both homes, and I'm not asking for that. I'm just hoping we can be roughly aligned on this one so [CHILD'S NAME] gets a consistent message.

Happy to talk on the phone if it's easier.

Thanks,
[YOUR NAME]

Fields to replace

[CO-PARENT NAME] — Co-parent's name
[CHILD'S NAME] — Child's name
[TOPIC] — Specific topic · e.g. phones in bedrooms, gaming time, TikTok, group chats.
[WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO AGREE] — What you'd like to agree
[WHY IT MATTERS] — Why it matters
[YOUR NAME] — Your name

What to attach

•Nothing in the first message.
•If asked, share one short, neutral source (e.g. NSPCC, Childnet) rather than long screenshots.

What not to include

Score-settling about past incidents.
Quotes from your child that put them in the middle.
Lists of every concern you have. Stick to the one topic.
Threats around contact, court, or solicitors.

Sources

Childnet: Family agreement — Childnet International

Last reviewed: 2026-05-20Next review: 2026-08-20

This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.