How to assess whether your teen's online partner is who they say they are — and what to do if you have concerns.
Your teen has told you (or you have discovered) that they are in a relationship with someone they have only met online. The partner could be a real teenager in another town or country, a real teenager but older than claimed, or an adult posing as a teenager. Online relationships between real teens are increasingly normal and often harmless. The risk is not the relationship itself — it is the inability to verify who the other person actually is, and the emotional intensity that can develop very quickly when contact is constant.
Most online-only teen relationships are real and resolve themselves (they fizzle out or move offline safely). A meaningful minority involve catfishing, age deception, or coercive control that is harder to spot than offline because there are no friends or family observing it. The most serious form is when the "partner" is an adult who has spent weeks or months grooming the teen — by that stage the teen will defend them strongly and resent your concern. Approach with curiosity, not interrogation.
Stay open and interested, not alarmed. Ask to hear about the person: how they met, where they live, what they do, when they last had a video call. Listen without immediate verdicts.
Ask whether your teen has had a live video call with them — not just photos or pre-recorded clips. No video after weeks of "dating" is a significant warning sign for catfishing or age deception.
Look at the partner's profile together if your teen will let you. Reverse image search their profile pictures (Google Images → camera icon) to check whether the images appear elsewhere on the internet under different names.
Have a clear conversation about red flags: asking for images, asking for money, asking your teen to keep the relationship secret from you, refusing video, pushing fast to move to a different app.
Agree a plan: no in-person meeting without you knowing exactly when, where, and who — and ideally without you being nearby. If a meeting is proposed, that is the moment to involve another trusted adult and to insist on verification.
What not to say
If you believe the partner is an adult lying about their age, or is asking for images, money, or in-person meetings under suspicious circumstances, report to CEOP (https://www.ceop.police.uk). If your teen has been told to keep the relationship secret and is showing signs of coercion (anxiety when not on the phone, secretive behaviour, withdrawal from friends), contact the NSPCC helpline (0808 800 5000) for advice. If money has been requested, also report to Action Fraud (0300 123 2040).
Last reviewed: 2026-05-17