Understanding digital self-harm, where children create or seek out harmful content targeting themselves online, and how to recognise and respond to this cry for help.
Digital self-harm is when a young person creates, posts, or deliberately seeks out negative or harmful content about themselves online. This can include posting anonymous hate messages aimed at oneself, creating fake accounts to send themselves abuse, or deliberately engaging with content that reinforces negative self-image. Research has found that a meaningful minority of young people have engaged in some form of digital self-harm. It is often a cry for help and can be associated with depression, anxiety, bullying, and traditional self-harm.
A young person may use anonymous platforms (such as ask.fm, NGL, or anonymous question apps) to send themselves hurtful messages, giving the appearance that others are targeting them. Others create secondary social media accounts to post negative content about themselves or deliberately seek out pro-self-harm, pro-eating-disorder, or other harmful content that reinforces a negative self-image. Some engage in online arguments or provocative posting specifically to attract hostile responses. The underlying driver is usually emotional distress, low self-worth, or a desire for others to recognise their pain.
1. Build open communication about emotional wellbeing
Regularly check in with your child about how they are feeling — not just about their online activity, but about their friendships, school, and self-image. Children who feel heard are less likely to seek validation through harmful online behaviour.
2. Discuss anonymous apps and their risks
Talk about why anonymous messaging apps can be harmful. Explain that anonymity can bring out cruelty — both from others and, importantly, from ourselves. Consider whether anonymous apps are appropriate for your child at all.
3. Monitor for patterns, not just individual incidents
A single unkind anonymous message may be external bullying. But a pattern of anonymous messages that your child seems both distressed by and reluctant to address may indicate digital self-harm. Look at the broader picture.
Last reviewed: 2026-03-30