Will bringing up self-harm put the idea in my child's head?

Research consistently shows that asking directly about self-harm or suicide does not plant the idea. In fact, children who know their parent is open to the conversation are more likely to seek help if they need it. Silence is far riskier than a calm, caring conversation.

What should I do if my child admits they are already struggling?

Stay calm and thank them for telling you. Do not overreact or make immediate demands. Contact your GP, or call the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000 for guidance. If you believe your child is in immediate danger, call 999 or take them to A&E.

Talking About Self-Harm and Suicide Content Online

A guide for parents on how to proactively discuss self-harm and suicide content encountered online — before a crisis arises. Includes UK helpline information.

Social media algorithms can expose young people to content about self-harm and suicide unexpectedly. Having a calm, proactive conversation before this happens gives your child a vocabulary to talk about what they see, and the confidence to come to you if they are struggling. This script does not require you to have all the answers — it is about opening a door.

When to have this conversation

From age 10+, especially once your child is using social media. Have this conversation proactively — before a crisis, not during one.

Before you start

• Choose a calm time when neither of you is tired or stressed. A quiet moment at home works well.
• Use a gentle, curious tone — you are checking in, not interrogating.
• Have helpline numbers ready in case the conversation reveals your child is struggling: Papyrus 0800 068 4141, Samaritans 116 123.

Conversation by age group

Ages 11-13

"I want to talk to you about something that comes up on social media sometimes. It is about some quite difficult content — but I want you to know what to do if you see it."

parent

"You might come across posts online about self-harm — hurting yourself — or about suicide. Sometimes these appear even when you are not looking for them. I want to check in: have you ever seen anything like that?"

Ask gently and be prepared to listen. Do not jump to conclusions if they say yes.

child

"Sometimes things come up but I just scroll past."

parent

"That is a sensible thing to do. If you ever see something that upsets you or makes you feel strange inside, please tell me or another adult you trust. You will not be in trouble, and you will not have done anything wrong."

parent

"I also want you to know that if you are ever feeling really low yourself — not just seeing it online, but feeling it — I am always here. No judgement. Just tell me."

child

"What if I do not want to talk to you about it?"

parent

"Then there are other people you can talk to. Childline is 0800 1111 — it is free, confidential, and available any time. There is also a charity called Papyrus, on 0800 068 4141, which is specifically for young people. You do not have to face anything alone."

Writing down the numbers and giving them to your child can help — it normalises having them without implying a crisis.

Tips for this age

• At this age, children may not have the words to describe difficult feelings. Using phrases like 'feeling really low' or 'struggling' can be less frightening than clinical language.
• Do not end the conversation with urgency — keep it calm and open-ended so they know they can return to it.

Follow-up actions

→ Save the Papyrus (0800 068 4141) and Samaritans (116 123) numbers in your child's phone alongside your own.
→ Check in gently over the following weeks — a simple 'how are you feeling about things lately?' keeps the channel open.