How to Create a Trusted Adult Plan with Your Child

Children are more likely to disclose abuse, bullying, or distress when they know exactly who they can tell. A 'Trusted Adult Plan' is a simple, written list — agreed with the child — of the adults they can go to for help, with at least one option outside the family. It is endorsed by safeguarding charities including the NSPCC and Lucy Faithfull Foundation, and it can be built in a single short conversation. Start by introducing the idea calmly. You might say: 'Most of the time, you can tell me anything. But just in case I'm not around, or it's something hard to say to me, I want us to make a list of grown-ups you could go to.' Make clear this is not because you expect bad things to happen, but because you want them to feel ready, the way you would teach them what to do in a fire. Work through five categories together. First, family members — a parent, step-parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or older sibling. Second, school adults — a class teacher, head of year, school nurse, designated safeguarding lead, or learning mentor. Third, community adults — a neighbour you know well, a youth group leader, a sports coach, a faith leader, or a doctor. Fourth, online or phone helplines — Childline (0800 1111), CEOP, or, for older teenagers, services like The Mix or YoungMinds. Fifth, emergency services — 999 in immediate danger and 101 for non-emergency police matters. For each name, ask your child why they have chosen them. Notice anyone they hesitate over. Sometimes children list someone because they feel they 'should', not because they genuinely trust them. It is okay to gently steer the conversation if you have safeguarding concerns about a particular adult; do not include anyone you have any worry about. Make the plan concrete. Write the names on a piece of paper or in a notes app, with phone numbers where useful. Add Childline (0800 1111), the school's main office, and your own out-of-hours numbers. For younger children, a colourful 'helping hand' diagram — five fingers, five trusted people — works well. For teenagers, a simple list in their phone notes is enough. Talk through scenarios without scaring them. 'If something happened online and you didn't want to tell me first, who would you tell?' 'If a friend told you something worrying about their family, who would you tell together?' 'If you got separated from us in town, who could you go to first?' This rehearsal makes the plan feel real and reduces freeze responses in a crisis. Reinforce two important messages. First: it is never their fault if an adult makes them feel unsafe, including an adult on the list. Trusted adults are people they can tell, not people who are above being told about. Second: they are allowed to try a second person if the first one does not listen or does not act. Persistence is not rudeness when something is wrong. Review the plan when life changes — new school, new club, a house move, a separation. Update it after any safeguarding incident, big or small. A short annual review, perhaps alongside their birthday, keeps the plan current. The goal is not a perfect document; it is a child who knows, with confidence, who they can go to.