What if the only adults I see often are part of the problem?

Then your trusted adult is someone outside the situation: a teacher, a youth worker, a coach, a friend's parent, your GP, or a helpline. You do not have to choose your closest adult, you choose your safest one.

What if I tell a teacher and they have to tell someone else?

Teachers do have safeguarding duties, which means they may have to pass on certain things to the designated safeguarding lead. Most will tell you that up front so you are not surprised. The DSL is still on your side, even though it can feel like the story is spreading.

What if I am embarrassed to repeat the story to a second adult?

You do not have to retell the whole thing in detail. You can say 'I have already told one person, here is the headline, and I just need you to help me with this next bit'. That is allowed and reasonable.

Talking to a trusted adult

How to choose a trusted adult, how to start the conversation, and what to do if the first adult you tell does not respond well.

A trusted adult is just an adult who you have reasonable confidence will take you seriously, not blow up, and will help you think instead of taking over. They might be a parent, but they do not have to be. Sometimes a step-parent, an older sibling who is now an adult, an aunt, uncle, grandparent, a family friend, a coach, a teacher, a youth worker, or a school counsellor is the better fit. Picking the right person matters more than picking the closest one.

You do not need to have everything sorted before you talk. A simple opener like 'I want to tell you something and I am not sure how' is enough to start. You are also allowed to set the rules of the conversation. You can ask them not to call anyone yet, you can ask for time to finish before they ask questions, and you can tell them what you want from them: advice, a plan, or just to be heard.

What this looks like in real life

Real examples

You want to tell a parent about something but you are scared of how they will react.
Your parents are too involved in the situation and you need someone outside it.
Your form tutor is kind but you do not know if it is too small to bring up.
You told one adult and they brushed it off, and you do not know whether to try again.

What you can do

Step 1

Pick someone calm. The right adult does not need to be the closest one, just the one who handles serious news well.

Step 2

Pick a time when they are not rushed or distracted, and ideally when you can be somewhere quiet.

Step 3

Tell them in your own words. 'Something happened online and I need help thinking about it' is a fine opening.

Step 4

Tell them what you want from the conversation: advice, help making a plan, or just to listen.

Step 5

If you cannot say it out loud, write it down or send it as a message. Words on paper still count.

Step 6

If the first adult does not respond well, try a different one. You are allowed to try again.

What not to do

Do not promise yourself you will only tell one person. You can tell more than one if it helps.
Do not assume any reaction other than calm support means you did the wrong thing. People react clumsily, that is on them.
Do not wait for the perfect moment. There usually is not one.

Who you can talk to

People who can help

A parent, carer, step-parent, or older relative.
A teacher, school nurse, pastoral lead, or designated safeguarding lead (DSL).
A youth worker, coach, or community leader you already see regularly.
Childline on 0800 1111 if you cannot think of anyone in person yet.
Your GP if you want medical or mental health help alongside the conversation.

If something goes wrong

If you told someone and it did not go well, that is not the end of the line. Take a breath and try someone else. Some adults are not ready to hear hard things even when they care about you. You did the right thing by telling, and you have the right to keep going until you find someone who responds with the calm and help you deserve. Childline can also help you pick who to try next.

Frequently Asked Questions

Trusted UK sources

Talking to someone you trust (Childline)
What schools must do (KCSIE 2025) (Department for Education)
NSPCC help for young people (NSPCC)

Last reviewed: 2026-05-20Next review: 2026-08-20Reviewed against: UK statutory guidance

This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.