Digital Self-Harm
Understanding digital self-harm, where children create or seek out harmful content targeting themselves online, and how to recognise and respond to this cry for help.
What is this?
Digital self-harm is when a young person creates, posts, or deliberately seeks out negative or harmful content about themselves online. This can include posting anonymous hate messages aimed at oneself, creating fake accounts to send themselves abuse, or deliberately engaging with content that reinforces negative self-image. Research suggests that around 6% of young people have engaged in some form of digital self-harm. It is often a cry for help and can be associated with depression, anxiety, bullying, and traditional self-harm.
How it works
A young person may use anonymous platforms (such as ask.fm, NGL, or anonymous question apps) to send themselves hurtful messages, giving the appearance that others are targeting them. Others create secondary social media accounts to post negative content about themselves or deliberately seek out pro-self-harm, pro-eating-disorder, or other harmful content that reinforces a negative self-image. Some engage in online arguments or provocative posting specifically to attract hostile responses. The underlying driver is usually emotional distress, low self-worth, or a desire for others to recognise their pain.
Warning signs
In your child's behaviour
- • Claiming to receive anonymous hateful messages but being reluctant to report or block the sender
- • A noticeable decline in mood, self-esteem, or engagement with normal activities
- • Expressing self-deprecating statements that echo the language of online harassment
On their device
- • Multiple anonymous messaging or question apps (NGL, Yolo, Sendit) installed
- • Evidence of secondary or anonymous social media accounts
- • Browser history showing searches for self-harm, pro-anorexia, or content glorifying suffering
Prevention steps
Build open communication about emotional wellbeing
Regularly check in with your child about how they are feeling — not just about their online activity, but about their friendships, school, and self-image. Children who feel heard are less likely to seek validation through harmful online behaviour.
Discuss anonymous apps and their risks
Talk about why anonymous messaging apps can be harmful. Explain that anonymity can bring out cruelty — both from others and, importantly, from ourselves. Consider whether anonymous apps are appropriate for your child at all.
Monitor for patterns, not just individual incidents
A single unkind anonymous message may be external bullying. But a pattern of anonymous messages that your child seems both distressed by and reluctant to address may indicate digital self-harm. Look at the broader picture.
What to do if it happens
- 1Approach with compassion, not anger. Digital self-harm is a sign of emotional distress. Your child needs support, not punishment.
- 2Listen without judgement. Ask how they are feeling and what is driving the behaviour. Avoid focusing on the technology — focus on the emotions underneath.
- 3Seek professional support. Contact your GP, school counsellor, or Childline (0800 1111). If there is any risk of physical self-harm, contact your GP or crisis services urgently.
Related topics
This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Last reviewed: 2026-03-30