Should I just take the phone off them?

Removing the phone for a day or two while you reset things is reasonable. Long, indefinite confiscation usually backfires — it removes their ability to contact you when they are out, and it ends the conversation rather than building a better one. Aim for a re-issue with new rules within the week.

They factory-reset the phone to remove Family Link. Now what?

Set up the device again from scratch with you in the room. Use a new Google account (or restore the supervised one), re-enable Family Link, and turn on "Lock Google account" so they cannot remove the supervised account without your sign-in. Make it clear that another reset means the phone goes back in the box.

Am I being too controlling for a 15-year-old?

It depends what the controls are doing. Hard blocks on adult sites for a 15-year-old are reasonable. A 9pm cutoff might not be. Use the bypass as a prompt to look honestly at what you are still restricting and ask whether each restriction is still age-appropriate. Negotiate, do not just re-impose.

Important

Your Child Has Bypassed Screen Time or Family Link

Your child has worked out how to disable parental controls. This is mostly a trust conversation, not just a tech fix.

What might be happening

Your child has found a way around the limits you set — they have guessed the Screen Time passcode, deleted Family Link, factory-reset the device, switched to a guest user, used a school iPad as a workaround, or followed a step-by-step video. Modern teens share these workarounds openly on TikTok and YouTube. The technical defeat is usually trivial; what matters more is what their behaviour is telling you about the relationship.

How serious is it?

The headline is not "my child is a hacker." The headline is "the agreement we had is no longer working." The risk depends on what they were trying to access — extra YouTube at bedtime is one thing, unrestricted access to TikTok DMs or porn at age 12 is another. Either way, the controls themselves are now compromised and need rebuilding, and the conversation that goes with them matters more than the technical reset.

What to do first

Step 1

Do the relationship reset first, the tech reset second. Sit down somewhere neutral. Say you have noticed the controls have been bypassed and you want to understand why before deciding what to do.

Step 2

Find out what they were actually trying to do. "Get more YouTube," "watch a film my friend showed me," "talk to someone you said I couldn't" — these are very different problems with different responses.

Step 3

Re-negotiate the agreement out loud. What did the old rules get wrong? Are they too tight for their age now? Is there a fairer version you can both sign up to?

Step 4

Then rebuild the technical side. Change the Screen Time passcode to something they cannot guess (not a birthday). Re-link Family Link. Turn on "Block changes" so the controls themselves cannot be edited.

Step 5

Add one boring physical safeguard: phone charges in the kitchen overnight, not the bedroom. This removes the easiest workaround time (2am).

What to say

Phrases that help

"The fact that you can get around the controls tells me the rules we agreed are not working for you any more. Let's talk about what would."
"I am not going to install spy software. I am going to ask you to be honest with me, and I'm going to be honest about what I worry about."
"If you outgrow a rule, tell me. We can change it. What I cannot have is you going around it."

What not to say

✗"You're sneaky and untrustworthy." — labels become self-fulfilling.
✗"You'll never use a phone in this house again." — empty threats teach them you do not mean what you say.
✗"I'll just install something you can't bypass." — escalates the arms race; they will find a way.

Settings to check

•iPhone: Settings → Screen Time → Change Screen Time Passcode. Use a passcode they do not know and that is not on any saved-password list. Turn on "Recovery" with your Apple ID so you can reset it if needed.
•iPhone: Settings → Screen Time → Content & Privacy Restrictions → Account Changes / Passcode Changes / App Installations → set to "Don't Allow."
•Android: open Family Link, check the device is still supervised. Re-link if needed. Turn on "Supervision tools" → Account settings → Lock Google account.
•Both: review installed apps for VPNs or browsers that bypass DNS-level filters (Brave, DuckDuckGo browser, Opera).
•Check your home router for any device-specific filtering that has been turned off, and reset Wi-Fi passwords if needed.

When to escalate

If the bypass was specifically to contact an adult you had blocked, view sexual content involving children, or hide ongoing harm, this stops being a household issue and becomes a safeguarding one. Contact CEOP (https://www.ceop.police.uk) or the NSPCC helpline (0808 800 5000). If you are worried about radicalisation or self-harm content, ACT Early (https://actearly.uk) and the Samaritans (116 123) are also routes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Last reviewed: 2026-05-16 · This page is educational guidance, not a substitute for emergency services, safeguarding professionals, or legal advice.

This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.