I do not understand my grandchild's apps. Where do I start?

Start with the apps they actually use, not the ones in the news. Ask them to show you. Our app guides walk you through the settings on each platform.

Can I block birth-parent contact on social media?

If you have parental responsibility and contact is causing harm, yes — but always discuss with any social worker involved first, and tell the child what you are doing and why.

Are there services specifically for kinship carers?

Yes. Kinship (the charity, 0300 123 7015) offers a helpline, peer support, and legal information specifically for kinship carers in England and Wales.

Online Safety in Kinship Care

For grandparents and family carers raising a relative's child — practical online safety when the placement and the family ties are intertwined.

Overview

Kinship carers — grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, family friends — raise children whose lives are already enmeshed with the wider family. That brings unique online-safety challenges: managing contact with birth parents, navigating family group chats, and often doing all of this with less formal support than foster carers receive.

This guide is for any kinship carer with a child in their care, whether under a special guardianship order, child arrangements order, or informal arrangement.

Starting from strengths

Kinship carers know the child, the family, and the history in a way that no professional ever will. That insight is enormously protective. Kinship-cared children often value continuity of family identity, and online life can be one of the places that continuity lives.

Common challenges and what helps

Birth-parent contact via social media outside the agreed plan

Have a written agreement about contact where possible. Be honest with the child about what is allowed and why. Avoid surprise blocks; explain in advance.

Carer's own confidence with apps, platforms, and settings

You do not need to be a tech expert. Ask the child to show you their world; visit our app guides together. Kinship (0300 123 7015) offers carer support.

Wider family pressure to 'just let them be in the chat'

Decisions about online contact rest with the carer with parental responsibility. You are entitled to set rules even if extended family disagree.

Children using online spaces to seek information about their birth story

Expect this — especially in adolescence. Be the calm, non-shocked adult who helps them make sense of what they find, rather than the one they have to hide it from.

Practical steps

•Write down a simple contact plan with the child and any social worker involved.
•Set up devices together, transparently — not in secret.
•Ask the child to show you their main apps; let them be the expert sometimes.
•Keep devices in shared space, especially at night.
•Reach out to Kinship (the charity) for carer-specific support.
•Loop in school's designated safeguarding lead so they know the family situation.
•Build in routine, low-key check-ins about online life.

Conversation starters

Phrases that help

Who do you talk to most online at the moment?
Has anyone in the family messaged you that you were not sure about?
Is there anything you have been looking up online about our family that you want to talk about?
If something happened online that worried you, what would you want me to do first?
Would it help if we wrote down our family rules together?

Working with school

Make sure the school knows the child is in kinship care and who has parental responsibility. Update the contact list. The designated safeguarding lead and SENCO (if relevant) should be informed of any online-safety concerns. Kinship (0300 123 7015) supports carers in advocating for their children.

Signs to take seriously

!Sudden secret contact with birth parents that conflicts with the agreed plan.
!An online contact who 'knows the family' but cannot be verified.
!Pressure on the child to keep online activity secret from you.
!Distress, sleep changes, or mood swings that began alongside new online use.
!Gifts, money, or vouchers the child cannot explain.

When to escalate

If you suspect grooming, sextortion, or unsafe contact, report to CEOP at ceop.police.uk and call 101 (999 if there is immediate danger). NSPCC (0808 800 5000) is available for any safeguarding concern. Kinship (0300 123 7015) can support you specifically as a kinship carer.

Frequently Asked Questions

Last reviewed: 2026-05-16 · This page is educational guidance, not a substitute for clinical advice, safeguarding professionals, or emergency services.

This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.