Should my child reply to a threatening message to find out more?

No. Replying can escalate the situation and encourage the sender. Save the evidence (screenshot the message and the profile), then block and report. If the message is a credible threat of violence or is sexual, involve the police rather than engaging with the sender.

How do I tell if a scary message is a real threat or just a scare-chain?

Look at who sent it and whether it targets your child specifically. Chain messages ('forward this or something bad happens') are designed to frighten but aren't a personal threat — reassure and delete. A message naming your child, threatening violence, or coming from an adult stranger should be treated seriously and, where there's any threat of harm, reported to the police.

The message came from another child at school. What should I do?

Preserve the evidence and report it to the school's Designated Safeguarding Lead — schools have a duty to act on bullying and threats between pupils. Block the sender on the platform too. If the message includes a serious threat of violence or anything sexual, report to the police as well.

Urgent

Your Child Received a Scary or Threatening Message

What to do when your child gets a frightening, threatening, or disturbing message online — how to assess it, preserve evidence, and decide who to tell.

If your child is in immediate danger, call 999

For urgent reports of online grooming, sextortion, or contact with an unknown adult, you can also report to CEOP. For child sexual abuse imagery, report to IWF.

What might be happening

Your child has received a message that frightened them — a threat, an aggressive or hateful message, a disturbing image, or a stranger saying something that made them uncomfortable. It might be from someone they know (a fallout, bullying), a stranger, or a scam/chain message designed to scare. Your first job is to work out, calmly, what kind of message it is and who it came from, because that decides the response.

How serious is it?

Most scary messages are not a physical threat — they are bullying, a scare-chain, or a one-off from a stranger who can be blocked. But some are serious: credible threats of violence, sexual messages, or contact from someone trying to build a relationship with your child. Take every one seriously enough to look at it properly, and treat threats of violence or sexual content as a matter for the police.

What to do first

Step 1

Stay calm and thank your child for showing you. Look at the message together rather than reacting to a second-hand description.

Step 2

Preserve it before blocking: screenshot the message, the username/profile, and note the app, date, and time.

Step 3

Block and report the sender on the platform once evidence is saved. Reassure your child that blocking is not rude — it is a normal safety step.

Step 4

Decide who else needs to know: the school (if it involves other pupils), or the police (101, or 999 for a credible threat of violence or sexual contact).

What to say

Phrases that help

"You did exactly the right thing showing me. Let's look at it together."
"Getting a message like this isn't your fault, and you're safe."
"We can block and report this person — you never have to reply to someone who scares you."

What not to say

✗"Why were you even talking to them?" — this makes the child feel blamed and stops disclosure.
✗"It's probably nothing, ignore it." — dismissing it before looking can miss a real threat.
✗"Message them back and tell them to stop." — replying can escalate; block and report instead.

Settings to check

•Restrict who can message your child (contacts/friends only) on the app involved.
•Set accounts to private and review follower/friend lists for unknown accounts.
•Check whether the same sender has reached them on other apps and block there too.

When to escalate

Call 999 for any credible threat of violence or if your child is in immediate danger. Report sexual messages or contact from an adult to CEOP (ceop.police.uk) and the police. For bullying involving classmates, tell the school's Designated Safeguarding Lead. Childline (0800 1111) can support your child.

Frequently Asked Questions

Last reviewed: 2026-07-13 · This page is educational guidance, not a substitute for emergency services, safeguarding professionals, or legal advice.

This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.