Should I let my child walk home alone from secondary school?

Most Year 7s do. Walk the route together first, agree a check-in text when they get home, and make sure they have a charged phone with your number saved. If the route involves a bus or train, do the journey with them a few times before term starts.

All their friends are on Snapchat — should I give in?

Snapchat is 13+ in its own terms and is one of the higher-risk apps for grooming because of disappearing messages and Snap Map. Many UK parents hold off until at least 13. If you do agree, set up the account together, lock down Snap Map to Ghost Mode, turn off Quick Add, and agree weekly check-ins.

My child is anxious about starting — when is it a safeguarding issue?

Some nerves are normal. Persistent refusal to go in, panic attacks, sudden withdrawal, or self-harm marks are reasons to speak to the school's pastoral team and your GP. The school's DSL can also help if bullying or something at home is part of it.

Plan ahead

Your Child is Starting Secondary School

Prepare for the Year 6 to Year 7 jump — new phones, new group chats, longer days, and a big leap in independence.

What might be happening

Your child is moving from primary into Year 7. Within the first few weeks they are likely to acquire a phone (if they do not already have one), join several new WhatsApp groups, meet older children on the bus or at the gates, and start managing time, money, and social pressure without an adult watching. The change is bigger than any single device or app — it is a shift in how much of their day you can see.

How serious is it?

This is not an emergency, but the first term of secondary school is when many parents discover problems they did not see coming — group-chat conflict, exposure to pornography through older peers, sudden interest in vapes or energy drinks, or anxiety that shows up as refusing to go in. Putting structure in early is much easier than untangling problems in October.

What to do first

Step 1

Have one big conversation in the summer holidays about what changes when school starts. Do not save it for the night before.

Step 2

Sort the phone before the first day. If they are getting one, set it up with parental controls (Screen Time on iPhone, Family Link on Android) before they touch it.

Step 3

Agree a written family agreement covering hours, homework time, where the phone sleeps overnight (out of the bedroom), and what to do if something upsets them.

Step 4

Walk or practise the route to school together at least once. Note the safe points — shops, friends' houses, where to wait if the bus is missed.

Step 5

Save key numbers in their phone as favourites: you, another trusted adult, the school office, and 999.

What to say

Phrases that help

"Secondary school is a fresh start. You will see and hear new things — some of it will be brilliant and some will be weird. Tell me either way."
"Group chats can get nasty fast. If you see something that feels off, screenshot it and show me. You will not be in trouble for being in the chat."
"If you ever feel unsafe getting home, call me and I will come. No questions until you are home."

What not to say

✗"You are a big kid now, sort it out yourself." — they still need scaffolding through Year 7 and 8.
✗"Do not talk to the older kids." — they will, and you want them telling you about it.
✗"If I see one bad thing on that phone it is gone." — this guarantees they hide problems.

Settings to check

•Phone: enable Screen Time or Family Link, set app age limits to 12+ and require approval for new installs.
•Set a downtime schedule covering school hours and overnight (e.g. 21:00-07:00) with emergency contacts allowed.
•Turn off location sharing by default; enable Find My / Family Link for you only.
•Pre-install only the apps you have agreed. Hold off on TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram if possible — all are 13+ in their own terms.
•Set the school's homework or parent app up on your phone too so you see the same notifications.

When to escalate

If your child is being targeted in group chats, threatened, or shown sexual content by other pupils, take screenshots and contact the school's designated safeguarding lead (DSL) — every UK school has one. If an adult outside the school is involved, report to CEOP (https://www.ceop.police.uk). For persistent bullying that the school does not act on, the NSPCC helpline is 0808 800 5000. Call 999 if your child is in immediate danger.

Frequently Asked Questions

Last reviewed: 2026-05-16 · This page is educational guidance, not a substitute for emergency services, safeguarding professionals, or legal advice.

This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.