How catfishing works, how to spot a fake online identity, and what to do if your child has been deceived by someone who is not who they claim to be.
Catfishing is when someone builds a relationship online using a fake or stolen identity: a made-up name, someone else's photos, an invented age or life story. The motive is not always sexual; some catfish want money, attention, revenge or an emotional connection, though a fake identity can also be a route into grooming or sextortion. Children and teens can invest real feelings in a friendship or romance with a person who simply does not exist as presented, which makes the eventual discovery genuinely painful.
A catfish sets up a believable profile, often with photos taken from someone else's account, and builds trust through attention, flattery and conveniently shared interests. There is nearly always a reason they cannot video call or meet: a broken camera, strict parents, living far away. Once trust is established, some ask for something, such as money, gift cards, images or secrecy, while others simply maintain the deception for attention over months. Because the relationship feels real to the child, discovery often brings grief and shame as well as anger.
In your child's behaviour
On their device
Teach healthy scepticism about online identities
Make it normal wisdom in your house that anyone online can use any name, age and photo, and that a profile proves nothing by itself. This is not about distrusting everyone; it is about not extending real-world trust to an unverified identity.
Show them how to check who someone is
Teach practical checks: reverse image search profile photos, look at how old the account is and whether its history is consistent, and see whether the person will hold a proper live video call. Repeated excuses to avoid video or meeting safely are a red flag in themselves.
Take a real interest in their online friendships
Ask about the people they game and chat with in the same way you ask about school friends, without judgement. A child who can mention an online friend at the dinner table is far more likely to tell you when something about that friend starts to feel wrong.
In immediate danger: call 999. For non-emergency police matters, call 101.
Concerned about a child but it's not an emergency? NSPCC helpline 0808 800 5000. Childline for young people 0800 1111.
This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.
Myth: My child is tech-savvy; they would spot a fake profile a mile off.
Fact: Catfish invest weeks or months in building believable identities, and technical confidence is no defence against emotional manipulation. Adults, including professionals, are successfully deceived by the same techniques every day.
Myth: Only lonely or naive children get catfished.
Fact: Catfishing exploits the completely normal desire for friendship, romance and recognition. Sociable, confident children are targeted too, particularly through gaming communities and social platforms where meeting strangers is routine.
Myth: As long as no money changed hands, no real harm was done.
Fact: The emotional harm of a deceived friendship or romance is real, and any personal information or images shared can be misused later. Discovery should always prompt evidence-keeping, reporting and support, not a shrug.
Children this age meet strangers mainly through games. Keep the rule simple: people online may not be who they say, friend requests are only for people they know in real life, and chats with strangers get shown to you. Play alongside them sometimes so you can see how contact happens.
Social media typically starts here, and with it online-only friendships. Keep accounts private, teach the profile checks, and agree that an online friend stays unverified until proven otherwise, which means no personal details, no images and no secrets. Normalise mentioning online friends to you.
Online romance becomes common at this age. Talk about verifying identity before trust deepens, why images should never be shared, and how the pressure tactics of a catfish look from the inside. Make clear that if they are ever deceived, your response will be support, not punishment, so telling you is always safe.
Older teens may move onto dating apps as they reach adulthood, where romance fraud is a well-known problem. Cover the adult-world rules early: verify before trusting, first meetings in public places, and money never enters an online relationship, however plausible the story.
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