Healthy Digital Relationships
What healthy online friendships, crushes, and romantic relationships look like for young people — consent, mutuality, boundaries, and how to recognise coercive patterns early.
What is this?
Most of children's relationships now have an online layer, whether that is a group chat for a school friendship, a DM thread with a crush, or a long-distance friendship built in a game. Framing online relationships only as a risk misses half the picture: young people learn enormous amounts about consent, communication, repair after conflict, and how to be a good friend through these channels. This guide focuses on what healthy looks like — mutuality, consent, room to say no, the freedom to log off — so children have a positive template to compare against, not only a list of warnings.
How it works
A healthy digital relationship shares the same building blocks as a healthy offline one: each person can speak honestly, disagree without punishment, and step away without being pursued. Online, those building blocks show up as specific behaviours — replies are not constantly demanded, photos are asked for not pressured, location is shared by choice not as proof of love, and a 'no' to a video call is accepted. Coercive patterns are the mirror image: love-bombing followed by silent treatment, jealousy framed as care, pressure for intimate images, monitoring through Find My or Snap Maps, and isolation from other friends.
Warning signs
In your child's behaviour
- • Constantly checking their phone and visibly anxious when a reply is slow
- • Apologising for things that are not their fault, or going quiet about a specific friend
- • Dropping other friendships, hobbies, or family time at one person's request
- • Being told what to wear, who to follow, or who they can speak to
On their device
- • Location-sharing turned on with one person in a way that feels obligatory rather than chosen
- • Long streams of messages demanding immediate replies, or messages punishing the child for not replying
- • Pressure for photos, video calls late at night, or 'prove you love me' content
Prevention steps
Name what healthy looks like, not only what unhealthy looks like
Talk about specifics: a good friend is happy when you spend time with other people; a good partner accepts a no to a video call; a good group chat lets people leave without drama. Children who have a positive template spot a coercive one earlier.
Make 'logging off' a normal, neutral thing
Agree that not replying immediately is a feature of a healthy relationship, not a betrayal. Snap streaks, BeReal pressure, and 'last seen' anxiety all push the opposite — counter them at home.
Talk about consent for images, location, and account access
Sharing a password, location, or intimate image is a choice that can be withdrawn at any time. Cyberflashing — sending unsolicited sexual images — is a criminal offence under section 66A of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 (inserted by the Online Safety Act 2023).
Keep one always-available adult
Agree that they can come to a named adult — you, another parent, a teacher, an aunt — about any relationship without being told 'I knew this would happen'. The adult's first job is to listen.
What to do if it happens
- 1If your child describes pressure, control, or coercion in a friendship or relationship, listen without rushing to action and ask what they would like to happen next.
- 2Help them block, mute, or step back from the specific platform rather than removing all of their devices.
- 3If there is sexual coercion, threats, or sharing of intimate images, contact CEOP, Childline (0800 1111), or the police on 101 — 999 if there is an immediate risk.
- 4Galop (0800 999 5428) supports LGBT+ young people experiencing relationship abuse; Refuge (0808 2000 247) supports domestic-abuse situations in the wider household.
Related topics
If you need to report this
In immediate danger: call 999. For non-emergency police matters, call 101.
Concerned about a child but it's not an emergency? NSPCC helpline 0808 800 5000. Childline for young people 0800 1111.
This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.
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Last reviewed: 2026-06-14