Should I have banned the game?

Banning the game outright can feel like a punishment to the child and can push the behaviour underground. It's usually more effective to lock down contact settings, keep gaming in a shared space, and keep talking — so your child tells you if it happens again, on any platform.

How do I report someone who contacted my child through a game?

Report the account in the game and the messaging app first, and block them. Where the contact was sexual, involved an adult, or steered towards secrecy or private chat, report to CEOP (ceop.police.uk). Call 999 if your child is in immediate danger.

Grooming & exploitation

A 'new friend' from an online game who wanted to chat in private

An illustrative composite of how online grooming often begins — through an ordinary game — and how one parent responded calmly and effectively.

Illustrative composite. This scenario is a realistic composite drawn from the patterns UK safeguarding organisations describe. It is not an account of a real, identifiable child, and no names are used. It is here to make the warning signs and the right response easier to recognise.

Age around 12grooming

What was happening

A 12-year-old had started playing a popular online game and made a new in-game friend who was funny, generous with in-game items, and always online at the same time. The friend said they were the same age. After a couple of weeks they suggested moving the conversation to a private messaging app 'so we can actually talk'.

Warning signs

Signs that were present

• A new online-only contact who was unusually attentive and complimentary
• Gifts of in-game currency and items early in the friendship
• Pressure to move from the game's chat to a private, harder-to-see app
• The child becoming secretive about their device and defensive when asked

The turning point

The parent noticed their child quickly closing a chat window and becoming flustered. Rather than confronting them with an accusation, they sat down at a calm moment and asked, with genuine curiosity, who they'd been gaming with lately.

What the parent did

1Stayed calm and thanked their child for talking, making clear they were not in trouble.
2Looked at the conversation together rather than seizing the device, so the child stayed on side.
3Explained gently that people online are not always who they say they are, and that adults sometimes pose as children.
4Kept the messages as they were (didn't delete them) in case they were needed as evidence.
5Reported the account to the game and the messaging app, and — because the contact had steered towards private chat and secrecy — made a report to CEOP.
6Reset the ground rule together: friend requests and chats only with people known in real life.

How it turned out

There was no way to be certain who the 'friend' really was, which was exactly the point. The account was reported and blocked, the child understood why it mattered, and — crucially — they had learned that bringing a worry to their parent led to help, not punishment. That open channel is the strongest ongoing protection.

What this teaches us

Takeaways

Grooming usually starts on ordinary, mainstream platforms, not obscure ones.
The request to 'move somewhere more private' is one of the clearest warning signs.
A calm, no-blame response keeps the child talking; confiscating the device often ends the conversation.
Length of contact is not proof of safety — trust is exactly what a groomer invests in building.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources & further reading

Last reviewed: 2026-07-29 · This page is educational guidance, not a substitute for emergency services, safeguarding professionals, or legal advice. If your child is in immediate danger, call 999.

This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.