My Child Has Disclosed Something Worrying
Your child has told you something that concerns you about their online experiences. This could be a disclosure of abuse, exploitation, inappropriate contact, exposure to harmful content, or any other situation where they may have been harmed or are at risk.
When a child discloses something worrying, it is a moment of immense trust. How you respond in the next few minutes can make the difference between a child who continues to confide in you and one who shuts down. Your instinct may be to react with shock, anger, or urgency — but the most helpful thing you can do is listen, believe, and respond calmly. You do not need to have all the answers right now.
What to do now
Listen Without Interrupting
Let your child speak at their own pace. Do not finish their sentences or guess what happened. Use encouraging nods and brief affirmations like 'I hear you' or 'Go on'. Maintain open, relaxed body language.
✗ Do not: Do not express shock, disgust, or anger — even if you feel it. Your facial expressions and tone matter enormously right now.
Believe and Validate
Tell your child clearly: 'I believe you. Thank you for telling me. This is not your fault.' Children rarely make up disclosures about abuse or harmful experiences, and being believed is critical to their recovery.
Do Not Investigate
Ask only open, clarifying questions if needed: 'Can you tell me a little more about what happened?' Do not probe for details, ask leading questions, or try to build a case. Professional investigators are trained for this — your role is to listen and support.
Record What Was Said
As soon as possible after the conversation, write down exactly what your child said — in their own words, not your interpretation. Note the date, time, and setting. This record may be important later.
Report to the Appropriate Authority
Depending on the nature of the disclosure, contact the NSPCC helpline, CEOP, or the police. If your child is in immediate danger, call 999. If a professional (teacher, doctor) needs to know, inform them. You are not expected to handle this alone.
What not to do
- ✗Do not promise to keep it a secret. You may need to involve professionals to keep your child safe. Instead, say 'I might need to talk to someone who can help us, but I will always keep you informed.'
- ✗Do not confront the person your child has disclosed about — this could put your child at further risk and compromise any investigation.
- ✗Do not ask your child to repeat their disclosure multiple times — this can be re-traumatising. Record it once and share your notes with professionals.
- ✗Do not blame yourself. Perpetrators of abuse are skilled at concealing their behaviour.
Preserving evidence
Why this matters
If you need to report to authorities or a platform, evidence can help.
- •Write down your child's exact words as soon as possible after the disclosure. Use their language, not adult interpretations.
- •If the disclosure involves online activity, do not touch the device. Note what platform or app was mentioned and preserve the device for professional examination if needed.
- •Keep your notes in a safe place. They may be requested by police or social services.
How to talk to your child
- ✓Repeat reassuring phrases: 'You did the right thing by telling me', 'I believe you', 'This is not your fault', and 'I am going to help you.'
- ✓Let your child know what will happen next in simple, honest terms. Children fear the unknown, and surprises can feel like further loss of control.
- ✓In the days that follow, maintain normal routines as much as possible. Your child needs stability and normality alongside professional support.
Who to contact
NSPCC Helpline
For advice on how to respond to a disclosure and what to do next
24/7, 365 days a year
CEOP
If the disclosure involves online sexual exploitation or abuse
Online reporting available 24/7
Local Authority Children's Services
If you believe your child is at risk of significant harm. Find your local team via your council's website
Office hours; emergency duty team out of hours
Childline
For your child to talk to a trained counsellor confidentially
24/7, 365 days a year
This guidance is for informational purposes. It is not a substitute for emergency services or professional safeguarding support. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999 (UK) or 911 (US) now.
Frequently Asked Questions
Related Resources
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Quick Reference — My Child Has Disclosed Something Worrying
My Child Has Disclosed Something Worrying — Quick Reference
Safe Child Guide — safechildguide.com
Do this:
- 1. Let your child speak at their own pace. Do not finish their sentences or guess what happened. Use encouraging nods and brief affirmations like 'I hear you' or 'Go on'. Maintain open, relaxed body language.
- 2. Tell your child clearly: 'I believe you. Thank you for telling me. This is not your fault.' Children rarely make up disclosures about abuse or harmful experiences, and being believed is critical to their recovery.
- 3. Ask only open, clarifying questions if needed: 'Can you tell me a little more about what happened?' Do not probe for details, ask leading questions, or try to build a case. Professional investigators are trained for this — your role is to listen and support.
- 4. As soon as possible after the conversation, write down exactly what your child said — in their own words, not your interpretation. Note the date, time, and setting. This record may be important later.
- 5. Depending on the nature of the disclosure, contact the NSPCC helpline, CEOP, or the police. If your child is in immediate danger, call 999. If a professional (teacher, doctor) needs to know, inform them. You are not expected to handle this alone.
Do NOT do this:
- ✗ Do not promise to keep it a secret. You may need to involve professionals to keep your child safe. Instead, say 'I might need to talk to someone who can help us, but I will always keep you informed.'
- ✗ Do not confront the person your child has disclosed about — this could put your child at further risk and compromise any investigation.
- ✗ Do not ask your child to repeat their disclosure multiple times — this can be re-traumatising. Record it once and share your notes with professionals.
- ✗ Do not blame yourself. Perpetrators of abuse are skilled at concealing their behaviour.
Stay calm. You are doing the right thing by looking for help. Your child needs your support, not your panic.
Last reviewed: 2026-03-01