A Stranger Has Messaged My Child Online
An unknown adult or older person has sent your child a direct message, friend request, or in-app communication on social media, a messaging app, or an online game.
Discovering that a stranger has contacted your child online is understandably worrying. Not every contact from an unknown person is dangerous, but it is important to assess the situation calmly and take the right steps. Your child may feel frightened, confused, or even defensive if they consider this person a friend. A measured approach will help you understand what has happened and protect your child.
What to do now
Stay Calm and Listen
Sit with your child and ask them to tell you about the person who contacted them. Listen without interrupting. Find out how the contact started, what platform it was on, and how long it has been going on.
✗ Do not: Do not immediately grab the device or raise your voice — your child needs to feel safe telling you everything.
Assess the Conversation
Review the messages together if your child is comfortable, or ask them to describe what was said. Look for red flags such as requests for personal information, photos, secrecy, or attempts to move the conversation to a different platform.
Do Not Reply or Engage
Advise your child not to respond to any further messages from this person. Do not reply to the stranger yourself. Block the account but take screenshots first.
Report on the Platform
Use the platform's built-in reporting tools to report the account. Most social media and gaming platforms have specific options for reporting suspicious adult contact with a minor.
Report to CEOP if Concerned
If the contact involved sexual messages, requests for images, or attempts to meet in person, report to CEOP immediately. If your child is in immediate danger, call 999.
What not to do
- ✗Do not engage with the stranger yourself or try to confront them — this could escalate the situation or compromise evidence.
- ✗Do not delete the messages before preserving evidence.
- ✗Do not blame your child for accepting a friend request or replying — many grooming tactics are specifically designed to manipulate young people.
Preserving evidence
Why this matters
If you need to report to authorities or a platform, evidence can help.
- •Screenshot all messages, including the stranger's profile, username, and any shared links or images.
- •Note the platform, dates, and times of all contact. If multiple platforms were used, document each one.
- •Do not delete the account or conversation thread until you have reported to the relevant authorities.
How to talk to your child
- ✓Reassure your child that they have done the right thing by telling you, and that this is not their fault.
- ✓Explain that some people online pretend to be someone they are not, and that it is always okay to come to you if something feels wrong.
- ✓Avoid making your child feel they will lose their device or online access as a result of telling you — this discourages future honesty.
Who to contact
CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection)
If the stranger sent sexual content, asked for images, requested secrecy, or tried to arrange a meeting
Online reporting available 24/7
NSPCC Helpline
For advice and support about any concerns regarding a child
24/7, 365 days a year
Childline
For children and young people who want to talk to someone confidentially
24/7, 365 days a year
This guidance is for informational purposes. It is not a substitute for emergency services or professional safeguarding support. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999 (UK) or 911 (US) now.
Frequently Asked Questions
Related Resources
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Quick Reference — A Stranger Has Messaged My Child Online
A Stranger Has Messaged My Child Online — Quick Reference
Safe Child Guide — safechildguide.com
Do this:
- 1. Sit with your child and ask them to tell you about the person who contacted them. Listen without interrupting. Find out how the contact started, what platform it was on, and how long it has been going on.
- 2. Review the messages together if your child is comfortable, or ask them to describe what was said. Look for red flags such as requests for personal information, photos, secrecy, or attempts to move the conversation to a different platform.
- 3. Advise your child not to respond to any further messages from this person. Do not reply to the stranger yourself. Block the account but take screenshots first.
- 4. Use the platform's built-in reporting tools to report the account. Most social media and gaming platforms have specific options for reporting suspicious adult contact with a minor.
- 5. If the contact involved sexual messages, requests for images, or attempts to meet in person, report to CEOP immediately. If your child is in immediate danger, call 999.
Do NOT do this:
- ✗ Do not engage with the stranger yourself or try to confront them — this could escalate the situation or compromise evidence.
- ✗ Do not delete the messages before preserving evidence.
- ✗ Do not blame your child for accepting a friend request or replying — many grooming tactics are specifically designed to manipulate young people.
Stay calm. You are doing the right thing by looking for help. Your child needs your support, not your panic.
Last reviewed: 2026-03-01