Understanding Privacy Defaults in Plain English
What default privacy settings actually mean on popular platforms, and the changes every family should make immediately.
Overview
When a child creates an account on a social media platform, game, or app, the default privacy settings are rarely set to the most protective level. Platforms are designed to maximise engagement, which often means making profiles public, enabling direct messages from anyone, and sharing location data by default. Understanding what these defaults actually do — and changing them — is one of the most practical steps any parent can take to improve their child's online safety.
Why defaults matter so much
Research shows that most people — adults and children alike — never change default settings. This is known as the 'default effect' in behavioural science. Platforms know this, which is why defaults tend to favour openness over privacy. A child who creates a TikTok account and does not change any settings will have a public profile visible to anyone in the world, will be discoverable by phone number and email, and will be able to receive direct messages from strangers.
Most children never change default settings. This means their accounts are likely more public than either they or their parents realise.
The most important settings to change
Across platforms, the most critical settings to check are: account privacy (public vs. private), who can send direct messages, who can see your child's profile, location sharing, discoverability (whether the account appears in search results or 'suggested friends'), and data sharing with third parties. Making an account private is the single most impactful change, but it is not enough on its own — direct message settings, location sharing, and discoverability should all be reviewed.
Making an account private is essential but not sufficient. Also restrict DMs, location sharing, and discoverability.
Platform-by-platform quick wins
On TikTok: set account to private, turn off 'Suggest your account to others', disable DMs or restrict to friends only. On Instagram: switch to private account, disable 'Activity Status', restrict message requests. On Snapchat: set 'Who Can Contact Me' and 'Who Can View My Story' to 'My Friends'. On WhatsApp: set profile photo visibility, last seen, and about to 'My Contacts'. On Roblox: enable Account Restrictions for younger children and set chat to 'No one' or 'Friends'.
Each platform has 3–5 critical settings to change. Do them all in one sitting with your child — it takes about 10 minutes per platform.
Making it a shared activity
Rather than changing settings while your child is not around, do it together. Explain what each setting does in simple terms: 'This means anyone in the world can see your photos' vs. 'This means only people you have accepted as friends can see them.' This builds digital literacy and helps your child understand why privacy matters. They are more likely to maintain these settings if they understand the reasoning.
Review privacy settings together with your child. Understanding the 'why' makes them more likely to keep protective settings in place.
Regular reviews are essential
Platforms frequently update their settings, sometimes resetting preferences or adding new features that default to 'on'. Schedule a regular privacy check — perhaps once a term or whenever your child downloads a new app. Treat it like a digital health check rather than an interrogation. Some families do a 'settings Sunday' once a month where everyone reviews their own device settings together.
Settings change when platforms update. Schedule regular family reviews — once a term is a good starting point.
Practical Actions
- 1Set aside 30 minutes this week to review privacy settings on every app your child uses — do it together and explain each change.
- 2Make every social media account private, disable location sharing, and restrict who can send direct messages to 'friends only' or 'no one'.
- 3Schedule a termly 'privacy check' in the family calendar to review settings after platform updates.
Sources
This is practical educational content to support families. For case-specific concerns about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or your local safeguarding team.
Frequently Asked Questions
Related Resources
Was this page helpful?
Last reviewed: 2026-03-15