Most social media platforms say 13+. Should I wait until then?

The minimum age of 13 is a legal requirement under most platforms' terms of service. Allowing younger children to create accounts means they miss out on age-appropriate safeguards and may encounter content not designed for them. Waiting until they are ready is usually the safest approach.

What if all their friends are already on social media?

Peer pressure is real, but it is okay to set your own family rules. Explain that different families have different approaches. If you do decide to allow access, ensure privacy settings are fully configured and that your child understands the basics of safe behaviour online.

First Social Media Account: What You Need to Know

A conversation guide for parents discussing social media with their child for the first time, covering privacy, kindness, and staying safe.

Social media can be a positive space for connection and creativity, but it comes with real risks — from privacy concerns to harmful content and contact from strangers. This script helps you have a balanced conversation that empowers your child to use social media more safely.

When to have this conversation

Before your child creates their first social media account, or as soon as you discover they already have one.

Before you start

• Familiarise yourself with the platform your child wants to use — try creating your own account first.
• Review the platform's privacy settings so you can walk through them together.
• Think about your own social media use and be prepared to model good habits.

Conversation by age group

Ages 11-13

"I know you have been asking about getting a social media account. Let's talk about it properly."

parent

"Social media can be really fun, but there are some things we need to set up first to make sure you are safe. Can we go through the privacy settings together?"

child

"Everyone at school is already on it though."

parent

"I understand that, and I am not saying no. I just want us to set it up properly. The first rule is: your account should be private, not public. That means only people you know in real life can see your posts."

parent

"And remember — never post your full name, school name, or location. If someone you do not know sends you a message, ignore it and tell me."

Be specific about what not to share. Children often do not realise how much they reveal.

Tips for this age

• Follow or friend your child's account so you can see what they are posting and who interacts with them.
• Set aside time each week to scroll through the platform together and discuss what they have seen.

Ages 14-16

"I want to talk to you about your social media use — not to lecture, but to make sure you feel safe."

parent

"You have been using social media for a while now. I trust you, but I want to check in. Is there anything that has made you feel uncomfortable recently?"

child

"Not really. It is fine."

parent

"That is good. Just remember, if anyone sends you something inappropriate or pressures you in any way, you can always come to me. You will not be in trouble — I would rather know."

parent

"Also, have a think about what you post. Screenshots last forever, and things can be taken out of context. If you would not say it in front of your grandparents, maybe do not post it."

Tips for this age

• Respect their growing need for privacy whilst maintaining an open dialogue about online experiences.
• Discuss real news stories about social media consequences to make the risks feel concrete.

Follow-up actions

→ Review privacy settings together every time the app updates, as settings can reset.
→ Agree on a check-in schedule — perhaps once a fortnight — to discuss any concerns.